pms-ing

i'm so tired of work lately - lots of politics and weird structures in the company. sometimes i wish i didn't have to go to work at all. why do we have to work this hard? what life is life... if you wake up to slog an average of 9 - 12 hours each day, come home, have your dinner and then it's time for bed already. what enjoyment do we get out of that? what quality is there to life?

if only i could earn money just from sitting around all day and day-dreaming. i think i'm pretty good at that - FYI, horoscope experts say that librians tend to have a lazy streak in us - and i don't deny that :P anyway, if some people can make a living out of drawing sketches, some earn their bucks performing in the streets, some make cakes and sell them, some collect rag-and-bones, how come i can't find a way to benefit from my superb "daydreaming skills"?

i asked myself tonight, why do i work away my youth? what is it exactly that i want out of working this hard, this many hours everyday?

hmmm..... only one thing, MONEY.

i think that's about it.

i once thought i worked for the experience (when i first graduated from university), then i thought work gave me sense of achivement... i also thought worklife helps widen one's social circle, make more friends.... but now i sit back and think - how true is that? i start to think all this slogging is just to make enough money to stay alive, and then leave some spare to buy lavish things to "destress" youself from all that madness. so at the end of the day, you're back to square one, kinda pointless. at least for me, i'm not getting any richer, i don't get a proper promotion, and my occassional "sense of achievement" didn't seem to add much value to my life either. it's just that temporary high when i accomplish something good (not considering all that crap i get from some people who mess things up), and then back to madness, stress, monotonous life. why do i even care so much (short of vomitting blood) about work, lose sleep over it, get irritable and throw tempers at my family, get so stressed up i just keep stuffing myself with chocolates? why do we fall under the mercy of all that just for money? how come i feel that i'm cheating myself whenever i tell my mum "i love doing what i'm doing...."

so today i conclude, i spend 3/4 of my waking hours just to make enough money to sustain my life, so that i can continue to spend many many other 3/4 of my waking hours slogging away. kinda sad, erh? no wonder it feels like i'm going in circles....

anyway, thanks for reading. pardon the bitterness. must be the pms *sigh*